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[ Wednesday, July 29th, 2009 @ 4:45 pm ] It's been a long long time since I've updated this journal- and finally I am able to let it all go. After 2 years of being healthy, and maybe 8 more of hurting myself, I finally feel free. Free from the gnawing guilt, shame, fear. Free from the unreasonable expectations- of others and of myself. Free to say "Fuck it, I want to enjoy, and not suffer my existence." And so I've deleted all my negative entries. Deleted my thinspiration, deleted my reverse thinpo, deleted those horrible pictures of me with my bones sticking out and my hollow eyes and checks. Looking back I look so sad and small, so insecure and too scared to look ahead and outside of myself. And I vow to never let myself be that way again. Never allow myself to guilt or shame my mind and body- and instead to smile and embrace my life and the world around me. Because as long as the sun is shining, I'll take a deep breath and face the world head on- strong, independent and loved: by my family, my (real, true) friends and most importantly, by me. comment  |  edit  |  + add

[ Monday, June 20th, 2005 @ 6:45 pm ] I love this picture: read 3  |  comment  |  edit  |  + add

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